Cookoo Charlie's Animal alphabet - Quills

Quills

“I cut out your tongue because I don’t give a shit what you have to say,” came a voice to the left of the man strapped down on a workman’s table.

“it may be overindulgence,” continued the voice. “But I also stitched your mouth shut with piano wire tighter than a sadistic, jealous prick sewing his wife’s pussy closed before he goes away on a week long business trip

“Are you aware that damn near 400 million animals end up as road kill annually in this country? Mindboggling, isn’t it? You have animal rights activists bitching about all the fuckin’ hunters and scientists who murder animals but not a one says squat about vehicular squirrel squash.

“Are you aware that the Florida panther is a highly endangered predator? And, ironically enough, is most likely to get killed by a cougar on four wheels along an everglades road. Nobody gives a shit! You wanna know why? Because cars are a part of this country’s culture and they’re big business. That’s why the fuckin’ government bailed out General Motors.”

The captive man may not have been able to speak, but his hearing was acute. He heard his captor place something down on a table close by. The sound of a lid being loosened immediately followed.

“Are you aware that I witnessed you running over that porcupine last night and just drove away? It took him over a half hour to die. I know because I watched him and comforted him the best I could.

“Are you aware that a porcupine has almost 30,000 quills?” inquired the vengeful vigilante as he stuck a quill through his guest’s scrotum.

“I wonder how many quills it will take until you expire. Let’s find out.”